WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2024
Termagant challenged by lamb: Bill Maher is currently appearing on every TV show in the nation. It's part of the promotion for his new, award-winning book, What This Comedian Said Will Shock You.
When we say he's appearing on every show, we do mean every show. On Monday, he even appeared on the Fox News Channel's Gutfeld! program, one of the dumbest and least constructive programs in the history of the small screen.
On the evening in question, Greg Gutfeld occasionally seemed to be trying to suggest that he and Bill are pretty much two of a kind.
(One early quote: "Bill and I have more in common than you think.")
On occasion, Bill shot that unlikely notion down. The analysts all cheered when he did.
We go way back with Bill, all the way to the legendary New Year's Eve show at the Richmond Comedy Club in December 1983. (Also, to events right here in Baltimore, one whole year before that.)
We ourselves made six award-winning appearances on Bill's original TV show, Politically Incorrect. After that, we set about our father's business, as almost everyone knows.
We don't always agree with Bill's opinions; our standards of taste sometimes differ. That said, we're stunned by his ability to fashion highly intelligent conversations which are routinely laced with very strong jokes.
Truly, is there anyone else who can do what Bill consistently does? We'd be inclined to say that the answer is a fairly obvious no.
We'd be inclined to say that no one else can do what Bill routinely does. By way of example, the termagant's initial joke on Monday night was, pathetically, this:
GUTFELD (5/20/24): Happy Monday, everyone! Let's get started.
Donald Trump has demanded a drug test for Joe Biden for the first debate. Biden privately told aides, "If he wants my urine, he can get it from my seat cushion, like everyone else."
Sad. For the record, we've never seen anyone as obsessed with human waste as this strange fellow is.
Even with a special guest, that's the way the termagant decided to start Monday's show. The set had been cleared of heavyweight wrestlers and Grade B comedians in honor of the evening's star guest, but birds gotta fly and fish gotta swim and Gutfeld is weirdly obsessed with body parts and with bodily functions.
That was Gutfeld's opening joke. After jokes about the smell of human waste in New York City and the enormous size of Jennifer Lopez's "ass," the penultimate joke of the evening's short comedy monologue went exactly like this:
GUTFELD: Charges will likely be dropped against pro golfer Scottie Scheffler after the cop's body cam was found to be off during the incident.
Hillary Clinton remarked, "This reminds me of when I murdered Jeffrey Epstein."
[APPLAUSE]
Yeah! This is my audience.
[CHEERS]
Sad, but also deeply destructive. Hillary Clinton is still routinely murdering people on this (weirdly) angry person's primetime "cable news" show.
Also this:
Joy Behar is said to be way too fat on almost every program. Nancy Pelosi's face is constantly said to be way too tight.
Last night, Jennifer Lopez's "ass"—it's much too large—was replaced by Lizzo's enormous "ass," a much more common Gutfeld! reference. The host of this show is so weird that he still does jokes, quite routinely, based on the pitiful premise that women simply don't drive as well as we brilliant men do.
This primetime "cable news" show is extremely stupid and profane, but most of all it's relentlessly propagandistic. Major news orgs in Blue America choose not to take note of such facts.
As we've noted in the past, this extremely strange primetime host is 59 years old! He graduated from Serra High, one mile down the Alameda from our own Aragon High.
It's hard to fathom how someone from such a sunny land turned out to be so weirdly angry. That said, we thought there were a few excellent moments on Monday night, once he finally stopped his monologues and gave Bill a chance to speak.
Bill has been leading with a strong message on these various shows. He keeps saying he doesn't want to hate half of America—that he actuallydoesn't hate half of America, just as a matter of fact.
We think the world will be a better place when our fellow San Matean—we arrived there after the seventh grade—finds a way to make himself better. The world is widely said to be waiting for that holy event to occur.
To our own eye and ear, there were a few tiny moments which pointed that way this past Monday night. Lions canconsort with lambs. Termagants, possibly not!
